Here it goes again...

The new year is about to start, and this looks suspiciously like a New Year's Resolution, but you are going to have to believe me when I say that it is not. I want to run a marathon. I have wanted to run a marathon since 5th grade, and I have began training for marathons many times in the past with little success, until now.

I decided to run the Austin Marathon in 2012 two weeks ago, and then made it semi-official with a call to my brother-in-law after running Town Lake in under an hour, feeling great. He is a great personal trainer, but has little training in marathon running, so he mentioned some books: Marathon Method and another one I couldn't find immediately. My main goal is to avoid injury, not time, so I also picked up Chi Running which, so far, has been fascinating. I have always struggled with posture, so that would only make sense to be holding me back.

Other things that have helped have been my dog. Earlier this year, she tore her ACL and had to have surgery. I went through a time where I was understandably frightened that she would re-injure herself, making her quality of life suffer. I'm still concerned when she tussels with other dogs, but my slow running pace seems to be perfect for her. Running Town Lake with her is like having a perfect running buddy: always available when I am, eager, doesn't tempt me with in-depth conversation or stopping, and will happily hold my keys. Also, I think the exercise has helped her out a lot. She has lot some weight, which is good for her knee, and she seems a lot more chill.

Also, my little brother put some amazing music on my I-Pod Shuffle. I don't have one of the new Shuffles that everybody wants; I have an older, less sexy version that just plays music. It has been perfect. I used to get annoyed with the ear buds - does anyone else have this problem? They won't stay in my ears, and I'm constantly adjusting them, making me frustrated, and not helping me with my running. I got some ear buds that are on the headband and that solved that problem. Now I only have problems with my glasses...

Finally, the most help has been my Vibram, "Toe Shoes". Okay, I know many runners would consider this a fad, or even destructive, but I love my shoes. If you have never seen them, they are like rubber soles for your bare feet; imagine what it would look like if you made a mold for your feet, toes and all. They don't offer much protection against rocks, much less arch support, but I cannot compliment them more. After years of struggling against blisters - bad blisters that make it impossible to walk, falling arches, toe problems, knee and joint pain, and back issues, I have never felt so good during a run. The philosophy is simple: our bodies, including our feet, have evolved to adapt to our environment, and adding more stuff to our shoes might make money, but makes little sense. My arches have gotten higher (!!!) and my posture has gotten better, and compared to a quality running shoe, these are a lot less expensive.

Some people say that they are just a fad or gimmick, but I have had problems getting blisters between my toes for years. Maybe they aren't for everyone, but running isn't for everyone either. They are some ugly shoes. I'd like to say I look like a ninja, but my feet are more frog-like than ninja. It's better than one guy describe his brown Vibrams to look like bear feet, though. I love the water wicking technology, though they can get smelly. I think the worst drawback is the strange feeling of walking into a public restroom for the first time.

Anyway, I'll keep posting on my year and two month journey. I'll talk more about how the hubby and I are training, (P90-X... yeah, it's pretty hilarious,) diet, and how far I get with baby in tow. Also, I'm going to tell more about the dog's recovery. I think the reason why this time my marathon might work is because it is not just about me anymore or a goal I had set in college (to run a marathon before I had kids... yeah, that didn't work,) but something I know I can do that will help my entire family.

We shall see.

First Day Jitters

The beginning of school has never been easy, and since becoming a teacher, it has only gotten harder. Starting the week before, anxiety would begin to kick in until the night before when I wouldn't be able to sleep. Even weeks before school starts, I'll have dreams where I show up to school without a syllabus, without a class roster, or the students just ignore everything I say, but usually the nightmare is about school - not the day before school starts.

Well, today is the first day of school and yesterday was pretty much a nightmare. Actually, last week was a nightmare as well - I still don't have a school laptop so I couldn't print, check emails, or plan very well, and a migraine hit around Wednesday around the same time my throat started to hurt. Our text books wouldn't be delivered until school had already started, the studio had failed final inspection... you name it, it went wrong. By Friday I was ready to go home.

Saturday was rough, but not as bad as when I went to bed. I could not sleep. My daughter, who we have been trying to get to sleep by herself, actually slept about 4-5 hours alone while I kept waiting for her to wake up to do something about it my agony. Finally, she did, and I took something but I felt distinctly feverish. Sunday morning I had a 100 degree fever. Great. Tomorrow is the first day of school - how can I stay home?

I go to Quick Care and see a doctor, get a prescription that took the pharmacy 45 minutes to fill, then go home to find out that my daughter has scratched my husband's eye while I was gone.

Back to the emergency room with the baby and husband. Things went slowly, but relatively smoothly until we tried to fill his prescription: Walgreen's had a thirty minute wait, so we went for yogurt, but when we got back, we found out that they thought we were just getting out of line so we started from the bottom again. Then they couldn't find proof that insurance would cover his eye drops, so at 11 o'clock pm last night after a trip to the emergency room, Walgreens, and everywhere else, we finally get home. It was a bit much for any day, much less the Sunday before school starts.

But, you know, school went wonderfully today. I have wonderful classes, I teach wonderful subjects, and I'm feeling so much better.

My nook

When I finally made my decision which high-tech device I would purchase, I faced another equally daunting decision to make: Kindle vs. nook. I used to work at Barnes and Noble, so I remember concerns about the Kindle taking over the printed word well and how that didn't happen, then I heard from dear friends still working there that the manager's pay raises and benefits depend on how many nooks sell in a week, much like the dreaded Membership Card did when I worked there. I do not approve of this carnivorous practice, and for a long time was swayed against the nook for this reason, but as a consumer and not an employee, I allowed myself to remain objective.

Why I would have chosen the Kindle: the keyboard, the library, the weight and size, and the amount of time it had to fix bugs. It's been around longer. Half the people I have spoken to about this say Kindle instead of eReader.

Why I chose the nook: the size was still smaller and lighter than most of the books I read, the interface was relatively easy to navigate after some initial handling, and I am familiar with their search engines. Also, the removable battery was a better option to how the Kindle's is built in, and the flexibility it offers promises to keep it competitive (it has chess and soduko, and plans to add more options.) Also, I was able to handle it before I bought it. I would have liked to have seen a Kindle in person...

Why others did not even occur to me:
Sony: It did not offer even half of what the others did, and still was pretty expensive. I have an app on my phone that does pretty much what the Sony Reader does with a smaller screen.
I-Pad: I don't want another phone, lap-top device, or any other electronic device to have to depend on so much. I like my Droid. I did not get an iPhone because I do not want AT&T, and I have appreciated the freedom in Doid's market. I appreciate the extra help an I-Pad would offer, and I did consider getting that instead of a new laptop, but I wanted a reader without the backlight. It's literally true! No eye strain on my nook! Awesome!

Drawbacks to any ebook include the whole 'you don't actually own a book' thing. Recently, George Orwell's publishers removed Animal Farm and 1984 which is ironic on so many levels. I'm not happy about the control publishers have over already published works, not to mention the very real threats that are posed in 1984, but because I still have my books in print, I am not too concerned about my reading material on the nook. The nook is mainly for things I want to see from The Daily Show, Colbert Report, or some random health book - none of these books would affect my professional life, and I am not an archivist. If you are either, you should NOT get an ebook for these reasons. Besides, flipping pages is hard enough. Using buttons to scan through pages would be silly.

So, how do I like it so far? I love it! I'm reading more, I'm watching TV less, and my wrists don't hurt as bad. Turning from one page to the next without a bookmark is difficult, and making marks are challenging, but worth it if you are just reading the book.

What am I reading, anyway?

I'm reading Change Your Brain, Change Your Body which is surprisingly obvious, and The Mysterious Benedict Society, which is surprisingly brilliant. If you enjoy puzzles and Harry Potter, you would like it - like the computer game, Myst; but I have to admit, I'm not reading it on the nook. I'm struggling with the print version, enjoying every word.

As I said, ebooks have not, will not, nor should not, get rid of the written word.

Extening the Olive Branch

Yesterday, a very dear friend took me to the best place in the world: The Natural Gardener. My daughter got to feed grape leaves to goats, watch chickens, and they have got some of the best gardens I have ever seen. Why, why, why have I not gone before??? This place reminds me of a time when I was very young when Mom took us to a gardening center that had a lot of concrete bridges, animals, and things, and I thought that the place was an enchanted place that an evil witch had turned into stone. This place was the enchanted place, minus the evil witch.

So... Olive Trees were on sale. To make matters more enticing, they have a garden where they planted several olive trees, and they were... perfect. Looking at the varieties in stock, it just so happened that they had two Italian species, the Pendolino and the Leccino, and they would bear fruit if they were together. (!) It would be like planting a long and fruitful marriage in my backyard.. with olives.

Well, I get home and hubby is less enthusiastic. He's a little more concerned with practical things, like root systems and yard space. How can I transport him to The Natural Gardener to see that Italy is for lovers? How can I communicate the glory of the trees if he works all day?

His words: "What happened to your idea about the butterfly garden?"

I did get seeds for that... I just got olives as well.

Break Through

If you haven't noticed it by now, I have an awesome Hubby. (Collective "Aw" inserted here...) Yesterday I got a debilitating migraine while we were working in the yard, and my daughter promptly had an allergic reaction to cucumbers and we had a long night. Needless to say, the Tylenol PM did not work its magic last night and this morning, for the lack of a better term, sucked.

So how did Hubby rise to the occasion? He fixed breakfast, tried to corral the baby in the kitchen, and let me keep the light off in the kitchen though he steadfastly read the paper like he always does. He tried to keep her from screeching - she has an amazing ability to reach high decibel levels without warning, and let me heal this morning. This is the only way I am able to function this morning - let alone, blog this morning, without checking myself into the hospital.

But in my pain I learned something. I never have liked drinking alcohol, which may sound like a good thing, but it really puts a damper on one's social life. Other teetotalers will agree that when one does not drink, everybody who is drinking seems to think that they are making some statement of being 'better' or more moral than everyone who is when it's just not true. Like Doc in Cannery Row, sometimes making a lie up puts people more at ease with my choices, so instead of "I don't like to drink," I'll say, "I'm the designated driver." This is still a problem at bars, parties, or any celebration that usually brings socially acceptable levels of libations. "How much wine is your husband planning on drinking??" is a pretty normal response.

So, what does drinking and migraines have to do with one another? The fish-eye lens. It's that feeling that you can only focus on one thing at a time very closely, and as soon as your focus moves, you can only focus on the new thing then. That is precisely what a migraine feels like to me, accompanied by a massive amount of pain, and it is also how I feel when I am feeling buzzed... albeit with less pain. I have suffered from migraines for as long as I can remember, and I have suffered from alcohol for a relatively short time, and so it only makes sense that I associate more pain with the fish-eye lens than I do pleasure. The taste of alcohol has often been considered an acquired taste... why would I give myself a chance to acquire such a taste if it means pain?

I hope this explains to everybody who I might have offended (brothers, friends, and Hubby included,) why I have not appropriately appreciated your liquors. This is not meant to excuse me from trying it - I hope to one differentiate my fish-eye lens aversion, but maybe this can help people understand migraines as well. The worst part about them is that I look normal, only lazy, drunk, or hung over. If I looked physically as bad as I felt, I would be deathly green and in need of a brain transfusion.

Perhaps more people associate the way I look with a migraine to a wonderful night on the town, desensitizing them to my condition? Food for thought.

Truth and Beauty

July 5th on The Colbert Report, the theoretical physicist, Michio Kaku, made some pretty interesting claims. For example, some of the things we have dreamed up in SciFi will make it into reality in the not so distant future, like Time Travel. When Stephen Colbert mentioned that we would already know about it because we would see the people traveling back in time, Kaku said that we will have an invisibility cloak within the next ten years. Um, okay. That's going to make marking absences in class a little more difficult, but whatever.

Kaku had also mentioned the illusive link between Quantum theory and Cosmology, saying that we are looking for a "1 inch equation." He alludes to the E=Mc2 equation. I asked hubby, "what if the link is just not so simple or elegant as E=Mc2?" What if we are ruling out the "mind of God" connection because we want something so small that it can fit on a license plate? (see http://mkaku.org/ ). Hubby answered that usually the most simple is usually the right answer, and we promptly started washing the dishes.

Fast forward to a very enlightening conversation I had with Rich Tollerton yesterday. He was referring to some reading he has been doing about how science and religion have interacted through the ages and came up with a quip that stopped me dead in my tracks. When asked to write it down to be quoted, he was hesitant, but came up with "[When facts are dealt with,] scientists are concerned with beauty." but when he first said this, he said something more like "Scientists seem to be looking more for beauty than truth." (I think he found this comment to be too damning for scientists, whom he emphatically supports/reads/enjoys; this was spoken more in frustration I think, but I digress.)

This reminds me of Einstein who rejected a lot of proven material because it was not beautiful and it was too complicated. It also reminds me of Aristotle, the Father of Science, who discussed his scientific hypothesis with other people without trying anything out. Truly, we have a lot of stuff to rule out to even form a hypothesis, (can I mention the parental anecdote of attempting to figure out why a baby is crying? 'Is the diaper wet? Is she hungry? Is she hot? Is there some variable I'm not aware of?') but can't this process of ruling extraneous material out end up being less about trying to discover truth and more about the justification of one's preferences?

I've also been reading a lot lately on the power of assumption and how assuming can be helpful. If you had to prove to yourself every morning that your car will turn on when you turn the key in the ignition, chances are you would be late a lot; however, if you assume that your car will start no matter what, there are chances that you will be very wrong and, perhaps, this assumption could be harmful if you don't, say add oil to it and maintain it because you just assume that it will all be okay.

So, in conclusion, I am not all that sure of Michio Kaku's hypothesis that we will go sneaking around invisible, or that it is even a good idea, (can I say terrorist attack?) but I do hope for the part about unifying the micro to the macro in physics, I just don't think it has to be so simple to be correct or even work, and, frankly, I do not trust Michio Kaku. He's too... flashy. I'm sure the long, silver hair and bombastic claims get him coveted spots on the Colbert Report and other perks, reminiscent of Tycho Brahe, (had to throw that in, Rich,) but that doesn't make him reliable.

Maybe what we should be looking for, not just in science but in art, entertainment, history, and current events, is the reliability factor - not just how cool something looks.

Tunes vs Tomes...

The Studio is almost done and Hubby and I are (imagine this,) tired of spending money. It gets old: take the plastic out of the wallet and swipe, then watch as the money you have saved gradually disappears. Granted, we saved the money to build The Studio, and we do not live beyond our means, but it wears on us, and so now I have a dilemma.

I am debating which high tech appliance to buy: the Kindle or an I Pod. This debate has gotten me to question things about my values, who I have become, and who I will be because I don't really want to buy both (no matter how cheap the Kindles are getting!) Here's the pros and cons of each:

I Pod Nano: I did have an I Pod Shuffle, which I loved, but it won't turn on and play anymore. It decided to do this on a 6 hour trip without warning, leaving me high and dry. The reasons to get one include that it plays in the car and I can download podcasts to it, (not to mention audio books,) and I could also take it running with me. It has been mentioned that my phone can do these things too. Yes, but the battery life would be greatly compromised, and it is heavy. Hubby also mentioned that he still has not looked at the Shuffle yet to see if it is truly dead. I argue that the police don't call him instead of the coroner for a reason, but I digress.

Kindle: I read a lot... when I can. The books I read can get heavy, and I need to be able to nurse and read. Also, I can get a lot of books on a Kindle and tote it around. During school, I can be reading 2-3 books a week, so any help would be appreciated. Someone mentioned that some readers can be used as Ipods, which would help the decision making process, though I wouldn't go jogging with a Kindle, but do I need music when I jog?

Let me know what you think!

Toddler Time

It's been a while since posting partially because my computer got stolen from school (long story,) and since summer started, I have not gotten as many breaks as I do while teaching; considering how many breaks teachers get, this says a lot. I figured before a new post, an update would help:

The Studio: Hubby finished The Studio... sort of. It is almost ready for final inspection, it has studio equipment in it, and I am starting to see him a little more often. Now we have shifted our focus to making the house more baby proof, hence...

Daughter: She started walking at around 11 months, running at 12. She is everywhere and into everything. I seem to remember Mom telling me repeatedly, "Stop digging!" and now I understand her frustration. What used to take me an hour takes about 3 times as long because everything I do, she can undo in less time. The recycling has been our biggest battle so far. I spend an hour or so on the kitchen while she is strewing her toys across the den, and while I pick up her toys, she goes through the recycling by picking things out and tossing them over her shoulder. Wow. But it has been nice to be able to set her down, and I love the hugs and kisses. She is beginning to sleep in her own bed, and her babble is getting more and more adult-like and less baby... granted it sounds more like a foreign language than English, but she's getting there. We joke that she bypassed English and went straight for Japanese... maybe that means she will be good at the piano???

Projects: Knitting has been slow. I have not sewn anything in months. I have, however, assembled more IKEA furniture alone in the past month than I have in my entire life. Storage in The Studio was a must and I when I can help Hubby, I do.

Reading: I finally read The Little Prince; while it was enlightening, I'm not sure about it being enjoyable. I understand how perhaps reading it in French would be more understandable, but this is not a kid's book. Kids are literal thinkers until the frontal cortex has developed, hence adulthood, and granted some kids develop faster, these kids are usually more sensitive. Just watching Disney's Winny the Pooh brought tears to my eyes, and when I was little, I never made it through I Love You Forever or The Giving Tree, and I could not grasp the concept that Puff the Magic Dragon was not real, and it was okay that he was going to be lonely. Sometimes kid's books are meant for adults, (Can I reference The Giver, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, or anything by Dahl, anyone?) and the adult concepts can be, ironically, to let adults detach themselves from their childhoods. I cannot see how these books can provide anything helpful to children, but I do see how they can be helpful to the adult writers.
With that said, I want to know whether the author intended the prince to be killed by the snake, if the Prince was supposed to be a metaphor, a mirage, or to be taken literally, and if the snake was supposed to be an archetypal symbol for knowledge. It's kinda bugging me. Mainly the question about if the Prince was supposed to die and the author just could not handle the truth...

I'm currently reading Astros Polyp, which I've had to set down because life has been hectic. It's good. The artistry is amazing, the story is spot on, and the philosophical edge is wonderful. The beginning put me off last year, with his apartment building burning down and all, but this year I have gotten better at distancing myself from the story enough to make it through half of the book. With that said, I see Hubby in Astros and I'm very concerned about a certain Little Prince, but that's another story.

I hope all is well with everyone, and I plan to post more regularly.

Diaper Fun

When I was about to have my daughter, I knew that I wanted to use cloth diapers so I went through a diaper service. This worked out well, except that it was expensive and the company randomly went under without telling us, leaving us with dirty diapers and no idea what happened. I knew that I at least needed to wash the diapers I had and, low and behold, washing my own diapers was not that difficult once I got over the ick factor, so since October, I have been washing my own diapers and it has worked well for us.

One of my friends is pregnant and has been excited about these new-fangled all-in-one cloth diapers, and I was skeptical. With my prefolds, I just kept reusing the plastic pants and changing the diaper part. My life was already so easy with the Snappy - why would I need a cloth diaper that I would need to change the entire diaper? Wouldn't that make laundry that much more difficult? Also, there are some brands that have way too many snaps on them. How on earth would I know which snap attached to which, for what purpose, and what if the snap came undone? Then there was the whole poop factor, which I did not know how an all-in-one would react to. This wonderful, amazing friend let me borrow her stash of large diapers (she won't need them for a while and they were already bought used,) for me to try, and I LOVE them.

First of all, though I do have to wash the outer layer most every time I change her, it really isn't any more than the regular prefold and sometimes when it is just pee, the liner can be removed and the diaper is still good. How? This fabric is amazing. The first time I put her in these diapers, I kept checking to see if she was wet. She never was, so I thought, "Great. The time I put a nice diaper on her, she refuses to pee." I finally changed her anyway, and the insert was sopping wet but the diaper was completely dry.

The snaps are still a bit of a problem. She wiggles way too much for me to buy a diaper that grows with her because I can barely get the four attached before she starts flipping, so though I like the Wonderoos and Happy Heinys' open slot to load the insert, I won't be buying this style. I will say, however, that not every diaper has snaps. The Bum Genius is really good about a few snaps to adjust the rise and Velcro around the waist, and Happy Heinys has a style that really fits her well with Velcro.

The poop ended up being a reason to get these diapers. Because the material wicks the moisture away, cleaning these diapers was a dream. Well, at least compared to washing a prefold.

There are some drawbacks:
1. Bottom Creams: I think everything can be solved using Boudreaux's Butt Paste, but it stains and has Zinc Oxide. Zinc Oxide limits the absorption of the diapers, and nobody wants to see a brown stain on a diaper - even if it is from the cream. The good news is that most babies in cloth diapers don't get diaper rash very often, but last week she got a pretty bad one from some paper diapers and we had to use the Butt Paste. If anybody knows of some cream that doesn't have Zinc Oxide, we would love to know it!
2. Out and About: Generally speaking, we don't go very far for very long, but one of the drawbacks to a non-disposable diaper is that they don't get thrown away. You do need bags to carry a potentially poopy diaper around.
3. Heavy Wetters: Her sitter tries her best to keep her diapered in the cloth, but my daughter pees constantly in the morning making it very difficult to keep reusing these diapers. What I usually do is keep a prefold in the diaper instead of the insert, or just use my pre-folds in the morning, and put the nice diapers on later.
4. Traveling, Baby-Sitters, or any change of a routine: As passionate as I am about saving the environment one diaper at a time, others are not quite there or their housing situations are not used to babies, much less a cloth diapered baby. I think these could potentially end up solving this dilemma, but we will see.

I found a magazine that had a really good article about diaper options; here's a link:

http://www.mothering.com/green-living/diapering-naturally

My husband wondered what was in it for my friend - here we are shamelessly using her diapers. I hope to compensate this friend of mine eventually with my wealth of prefolds and all the new diapers I will buy because by the time her daughter gets to be my daughter's age, I won't need them anymore.

Peas in a pod

My daughter's growing like a weed.

This is especially an appropriate comment since the moment I finished the 2 year sweater, I have not felt like knitting very much, and my garden has appreciated this. I went to Home Depot just wanting to pick up some mint and Purple Hearts, and found out that they did not have either so I got Oregano, Basil, and Thyme.

I then got the idea to nix the birdbath idea (hubby is thrilled,) and put in a butterfly garden instead (hubby is not so thrilled.) I have this garden that is in an awkward space, but I think I finally figured out what it likes after seeing so many plants die in it. This garden has been the place where flowers go to die, not flourish, so I am going to take pictures soon just in case my calculations are wrong.

I finally found some mint at Whole Foods, but they did not have anything butterfly related, so I went to Shoal Creek Gardener today and I have quite a haul of plants. They are all of local variety, and I like the yards that I have seen them planted in. Especially exciting is how the dog is completely uninterested in this garden. She has been the scourge of many a plant in the past.

So, what does my daughter have to do with any of this? She has had to 'help' me plant all of it. While we were at Shoal Creek today, she surveyed everything very thoughtfully, and tasted at least one of the plants on the way home. In the yard, she has done everything she can to eat anything on the ground. I have had to drop the shovel, get the leaves out of her mouth, then hurry up and plant the next plant before she does it again. Hubby is no help since he has been working on the stairs to the studio. Who knew gardening could be so exciting?

But, as determined as that child is to eat the weeds, I am determined to plant these flowers.

(I wonder where she gets the determination from anyway...)

Has anyone seen my pants?

You don't know the meaning of fear until you wake up in the morning realizing that at some point in the night before, you have lost your pajama pants.

I have always had a problem with sleep walking, sleep talking - pretty much sleep-everything more exciting than what I do when I am awake. Mom remembers a time that when I sleep-cooked ramen noodles in the middle of the night. How does she know it was me? I cleaned the pot. I also sleep-ate the noodles, which was pretty impressive because it was my little brother who liked to eat them - not me.

I'm not saying that I am a heavy sleeper, either. I am notoriously easy to wake up. I heard a mousetrap go off in the middle of the night under the house, and I couldn't sleep thinking about the rat in the trap. I cannot sleep through thunderstorms, and when my cat goes to do his business in the middle of the night, I wake up. In fact, before the dog came around, the cat made a pretty handy security system; any time someone or something was in the back yard, he would paw the back window making a swishing noise. Once, in the middle of the night, this happened, and I got up to look out the back window to see this blinding white light moving across my back yard and almost screamed, until I realized what it was: my neighbors at the time had a cat with an inner ear problem (it was deaf and had a bad sense of balance,) so it would go to the wrong house and meow really loud until they retrieved the cat. Since a storm had blown down half a tree and, consequently, part of the fence, the cat was at our back door. The white specter was not a ghost as I had imagined it, but was my neighbor, butt naked, walking across my yard getting his cat, and I did not have my glasses on. I was not woken by the cat, mainly because I had gotten used to that noise, but I digress.

So, last night I went to bed thinking that the pants to the pajamas I was wearing were shorter than I remembered, so I know I was wearing them. Then, this morning I realized that I was no longer wearing pants. It's also laundry day, so I was wearing the special-occasion undies that, if you're married, you know what I mean.

Probably more frightening is that I have been looking for them all morning and still can't find them. Hubby says that I didn't wear them after all since there are no other signs that anything unusual happened in the house, but because I KNOW I had them on and they are not in the dresser, the fact that nothing in the house is amiss only makes me more concerned.

(If you see a cat with an inner ear problem dragging them somewhere, let me know.)

The end of the 2 year sweater...

The time is almost here when I will take the 2 year sweater into my hands, sew up all the loose ends, put it proudly into water and block the cursed thing into shape for my husband.

To understand the caliber of work this sweater has taken, you must understand the process.

It took me at least 6 months to come up with the yarn and the perfect pattern that my husband would agree to. The yarn was relatively easy, considering I had picked it out for a sweater to make myself until I realized that if I got pregnant, I would not be able to try it on. Why not make hubby a sweater?

Because hubbies are difficult to knit for, that's why.

Finally, I took him to my favorite knit shop that was filled with plenty of patterns to choose from, but all he wanted was the most basic, boring pattern in the entire store. I bought it and began the project with gusto, but soon realized what a daunting task all of those stitches would be. (8 stitches per inch gauge) It soon got set aside while I began quilting, working at the library, and teaching... and then I got pregnant.

While pregnant, I got carpal tunnel making the needles harder to use than ever, so I got down to the arm holes and stopped. After the pregnancy, my hands still didn't cooperate, so I waited until October to pick up the sweater again to finish by Christmas (yet again,) but my daughter had other plans for me and my time. Who said that nursing a baby allotted for plenty of knitting time??? After Christmas, I swore that by Valentines Day it would be done and he would have at least another month to wear it before it got hot again.

For perfect timing, I am on my last inch on the last sleeve and it's around 80 degrees outside. I had to rip out the bottom of the sweater 3 times, (the last time I could not do it but thanks to my sister, it looks great,) the sleeves are a little disproportional, and I have learned, thanks to this sweater, that I twist every single stitch I make. Now my albatross is about to be cut free with that last stitch, and I will commemorate this with much chocolate and rejoicing.

Last week I wanted to show it off to my students. They wondered if someone could actually wear it, so I put it on to show that, yes, it did have arms in the right place and the hole for the neck would fit.

"You look like you are the type of woman who eats cat food on Sundays."

"Yeah, it would go perfectly with a pair of sweatpants."

Let's just say that the hubby had better wear it with slacks, jeans, sweatpants, and whatever else he will wear because after two years of this sweater, he will not be allowed to take it off.

My next project?

Fixing my stitch and starting on a sweater - this time it's for me.

French Connection

I am trying to learn French again. I tried in Elementary School, I tried again in college after a failed attempt at Spanish, and now I am trying again with the help of a friend's books and some books I found at Half Price Books last weekend. I am dedicated to this now, partially because this is my third attempt, and partially because I am going to go to Paris sometime in my lifetime.

So far, not so good.

I have tried reading children's books in French and so far, I really think I need to work on my vocabulary. I tried to figure things out by what things sounded like they should mean since my French Dictionary was at work, but that proved to be a silly idea. Freud would have all sorts of ideas about my psyche if he heard what I thought these children's books were saying, so I have gone with a more basic approach.

I tried a French Verbs Flip Book which has all sorts of verbs, arranged in alphabetical order, in a handy, conjugated order. Sounds perfect, right? Well, I have gotten through the "A"s, and my retention has not been that good. I know now, though, that if someone uses a verb in French that begins with an "A", they could be destroying something, coming close to something, giving something, or playing the accordion. Then again, they might be using a word not in my handy flip book, and I would still be out of luck.

I am not going to give up, though. I figure that if I study my French every time I nurse my daughter, I will probably become an expert by the time I raise enough money to go to Paris.

(Speaking and understanding spoken French, however...)

So now I understand...

It has been a while since my last post. Why? My daughter.

As I said in my last post, I was going to begin shouldering more responsibilities around here with my husband working even more hours than he already works, but that description does not cut it. I already work 40+ hours as a teacher, and now I am the equivalent of a single parent with a husband. I have started to run at school with another teacher friend because exercise at home is impossible; I have even had to hire someone once a week to come over and watch the baby while I catch up with the housework and my school work. The struggle continues into the weekend while I am trying to get the necessities done (vacuuming is not one of them,) while hubby is outside working on the studio. He even commented like our situation is a bit like weathering a hurricane - we are just holding the fort until the storm passes.

My coping skills have gotten better. The dishes are getting done a lot more often, the vegetables from the farm share are getting eaten a lot quicker, and I am still employed. The lady who watches my daughter asked last week, "I know this is a silly question, but how do you go to the bathroom? There is no room in the bathroom for a seat and she screams any time you put her down, not to mention the risk of letting her out of your sight." I had to answer that I put her on the bed in the bedroom right next to the bathroom and watch her from there. This led to a scary moment when she almost flipped off the bed, but I caught her... um, midstream.

I do not understand people who have children on purpose without a steady, trustworthy husband anymore, but I do understand their pain. I also have garnered a new respect for my mother who had four children, and wonder how she got around to do anything. Just the other morning I woke up at my usual time, but my daughter decided she needed to get up with me making the morning processes twice as long. I could not read the paper or drink my tea because of it, and I had to change my shirt because she tossed oatmeal all over it.

Mom always woke up at 5:30 am. I used to think it was because she was a masochist, but now I understand.

Back Pains...

Why is it when someone says that I need to shoulder more responsibility, my back ends up paying the price?

Back when we had a dishwasher, I remember complaining about not having enough time to do the dishes. Then, when we moved into a house without a dishwasher, I remember really complaining about not having enough time doing the dishes and wondering what I was doing to not have enough time to do the dishes. Now that I still don’t have a dishwasher and have an infant, I really don’t understand how I could have complained with a dishwasher, and I am pretty skeptical of the me 6 months ago.

With the new year and my husband, still building the studio but now in busy season with his CPA firm, I have had to take on a lot more responsibility. Things like paying the bills, housework, feeding animals really add up when someone is relying on you so heavily – and I do mean heavily. She wants to be toted everywhere I go, and she has had no trouble gaining weight. She is still working on the crawling thing, so in the meantime, I’m having to carry her everywhere and do more around here.

House chores for a lot of people can usually wait until the weekend, but for us in our little house, it has to be done every day. Yesterday I wondered what was going on that the dog was so underfoot, but then it occurred to me – there is a lot less foot room for human/cat/baby/dog to walk in. My husband’s paintings have filled up an entire room, again waiting for the studio to be completed, and the baby’s things are beginning to infringe on our living space with her new high chair (bought used,) and pack-and-play. Everything has to fit together like a puzzle, and if one piece is out of order, it will need to be set right before someone trips on it.

Now I have a new strategy – I’m strapping her to my back. It’s the same baby carrier I made a while back, but now she is on my back. The house is still not bigger, the husband is still busy working in the studio, dinner is still not cooked, and the dishes still need to be done, but now that she is asleep on my back I don’t have to lay down with her to put her to sleep.

It helps me ‘shoulder’ this responsibility a little better. As they say, when all else fails, get a back up.

Trying to understand Advertising...

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Salad Days

First weeks back are never easy, and this past week was no exception.  The school just learned that we have a septic tank system not connected with the city by having the septic tank explode all over the place.  We are having record breaking temperatures, and school is not called off even though I teach in a portable building about a quarter-mile away from the bathroom (that just exploded - the other one is considerably farther off,) and my daughter is getting used to a new sitter.  My laundry is getting out of control, my kitchen really needs some re-organization, and my husband has been spending most of his time in frigid temperatures outside working on his studio, so this has been a stressful week; still, I something amazing has begun, and I can't wait to share.

Last year a friend of my husbands commented that he belongs to a garden share.  I have been wanting to join one for years, but I was under the impression that they are usually hard to get into.  I am pleased to say that my assumption was wrong, and I joined one, and got my first batch of veggies this week.

I have not had food that tasted so real since I ate the food off my grandmother's farm.  The tangerines are sweeter, the carrots much more vibrant, and lettuce so much more... well, lettucier.  Also, I got vegetables that I never would have picked out (partially because I have no idea what it actually is,) but all of it tastes so good.  I have never picked out radishes.  I don't think I have had one since Mom forced me to eat one when I was a little kid, but now I love them.  I embrace the radishes, fennel, green onions, and variety of other things I am now using in salads because it would be a real shame to cook them.

The baby-weight is still not gone, and she is 6 months old.  I went jogging the other day, and I realized that, wow, I really am getting nearer and nearer to 30, and that this does make a difference.  I know that eating a huge salad is not the only thing I need to be doing, but this has been the easiest New Year's resolution I have ever made.