Ediface

One thing I have learned by teaching is the best way to control a large group of people is by learning their names. As soon as what they do is no longer anonymous, they suddenly start thinking that these things can come back to haunt them. This makes this a little difficult for me since I seem to be handicapped by something far worse than my inability to spell - I cannot recognize faces or names.

Usually, I remember a kid's name for all the wrong reasons - he/she is usually acting out in class, to remind the kid to get me some work they missed due to excessive absences, or some other obnoxious reason for me to ask them something. I, for some reason, never see those kids after graduation. I only see the kids that I really enjoyed teaching, and for the life of me I cannot remember their names.

I can remember dog's names, but that's usually because dogs actually look like their names. Stubby, Reagan, Bellatrix, or Rusty are memorable; Jason, John, Abby, or Taylor are not. Is it because dog owners are better at naming than the rest of the population? Obviously not. I think it's because we spend time with dogs before naming them, unlike the practice with our children. I cannot imagine a parent deciding to name their child Twinkle Le'Star after knowing the child for any period of time, realizing that this would be social suicide.

But my problem is not only names but faces. If people wore the same thing every day, never changed their fair, or if there just wasn't so many people to remember in the first place, I would be better off. I have this one child in my class that looks completely different from each week to the next so as soon as I start to recognize the child, she changes. Just today I went to my box and pulled out a package of pictures for the yearbook that I could not recognize. It was obviously air-brushed, and that person was wearing way too much make-up.

Then I realized it was me.