So now I understand...

It has been a while since my last post. Why? My daughter.

As I said in my last post, I was going to begin shouldering more responsibilities around here with my husband working even more hours than he already works, but that description does not cut it. I already work 40+ hours as a teacher, and now I am the equivalent of a single parent with a husband. I have started to run at school with another teacher friend because exercise at home is impossible; I have even had to hire someone once a week to come over and watch the baby while I catch up with the housework and my school work. The struggle continues into the weekend while I am trying to get the necessities done (vacuuming is not one of them,) while hubby is outside working on the studio. He even commented like our situation is a bit like weathering a hurricane - we are just holding the fort until the storm passes.

My coping skills have gotten better. The dishes are getting done a lot more often, the vegetables from the farm share are getting eaten a lot quicker, and I am still employed. The lady who watches my daughter asked last week, "I know this is a silly question, but how do you go to the bathroom? There is no room in the bathroom for a seat and she screams any time you put her down, not to mention the risk of letting her out of your sight." I had to answer that I put her on the bed in the bedroom right next to the bathroom and watch her from there. This led to a scary moment when she almost flipped off the bed, but I caught her... um, midstream.

I do not understand people who have children on purpose without a steady, trustworthy husband anymore, but I do understand their pain. I also have garnered a new respect for my mother who had four children, and wonder how she got around to do anything. Just the other morning I woke up at my usual time, but my daughter decided she needed to get up with me making the morning processes twice as long. I could not read the paper or drink my tea because of it, and I had to change my shirt because she tossed oatmeal all over it.

Mom always woke up at 5:30 am. I used to think it was because she was a masochist, but now I understand.